A Florida family law attorney's guide to choosing the right representation, building a strong case, and creating a parenting plan that protects your children long after the divorce is finalized.
If you are going through a divorce in Florida and you have children, you are probably thinking about a lot more than just ending your marriage.
You may be worried about what your spouse will do next. You may be concerned about how the divorce will affect your children emotionally, or whether conflict will follow your family long after the case is over. You might be wondering whether decisions you make right now, before anything is even filed, could create problems you cannot undo later.
These are the exact concerns that South Florida family law attorney Scott J. Kalish addresses in this presentation.
Drawing on years of experience representing parents across Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties, Scott walks through the three steps that parents commonly overlook, even though they are obvious once you understand them. He explains why each step matters, what can go wrong when it is skipped, and what you can do to protect both your children and yourself during and after the divorce process.
Whether you watch the full video, listen to the audio version, or read the written guide below, you will come away with a clearer understanding of what it takes to handle a divorce with children the right way in Florida.
The following written guide is based on Scott J. Kalish's full presentation. It has been organized and expanded into a comprehensive resource so that parents who prefer reading, or who want to return to specific lessons later, can find what they need without watching the entire video.
If you are a parent in Florida who is contemplating divorce, preparing for divorce, or already going through a divorce and you are concerned about how to protect your children, this guide was built for you.
When most parents think about divorce, they picture the end: two separate households, the conflict resolved, life moving forward. And that is part of the goal. You want to be separated from your spouse. You want your children to live in stability, not chaos. You want peace.
But here is the reality that Scott wants every parent to understand before making any decisions.
If you have children, divorce does not end your relationship with your spouse. It changes the structure of it. You will remain connected to this person, in some cases communicating daily or weekly, until your children turn 18. And even beyond that, through college, weddings, and other major life events, your ex-spouse will remain part of your world.
That means getting divorced is not enough. You have to get divorced the right way. Because if you don't, you can end up separated but still living in chaos. Still being bullied. Still being controlled. Still watching your children get caught in the middle.
Divorce ends a marriage, but it does not automatically end conflict, control, or manipulation. When children are involved, how you handle the divorce process determines whether your family's future is peaceful or chaotic.
The cost of getting this wrong is high. Parents who do not handle their divorce strategically can lose time with their children, remain vulnerable to harassment through the parenting plan itself, and find themselves back in court trying to fix problems that could have been prevented.
Scott's three steps are designed to help you avoid those outcomes.
Find an attorney who specializes in family law, listens to your situation, and is genuinely invested in your case.
Facts win cases. Identify your goals, then systematically gather the evidence that supports your position.
The parenting plan becomes the law. Make it specific, thorough, and built to prevent the problems you can already see coming.
This step sounds obvious. But Scott sees parents make avoidable mistakes with attorney selection all the time, and by the time those mistakes become clear, the damage is often already done. Sometimes an agreement has been signed, a parenting plan has been finalized, and the parent realizes too late that their lawyer missed critical protections.
Before discussing what to look for in a divorce attorney, Scott identifies three types of lawyers that parents should generally avoid.
Some attorneys practice immigration, criminal defense, family law, personal injury, and three other areas all at once. The problem is that family law changes constantly. New statutes come out every year. Case law evolves. A lawyer who divides their attention across five or six practice areas simply cannot maintain the depth of knowledge that a contested or high-conflict divorce requires.
Scott uses a straightforward analogy: you would not ask a general practitioner doctor to perform a knee replacement. If you are facing a spouse who is manipulative, aggressive, or deceitful, you need someone who has been in that specific arena many times before and knows what it takes to protect you and your children.
If you would like to dig deeper into what to evaluate when selecting an attorney, Scott's firm has a detailed guide on how to choose a divorce lawyer in Florida.
Scott is careful to distinguish between parents who genuinely cannot afford anything more than low-cost representation (in which case, a lawyer is almost always better than no lawyer) and parents who can afford good representation but instinctively shop for the lowest price.
The problem with extremely cheap legal representation is a capacity issue. Firms that charge very little need a high volume of clients to survive. That volume means your case gets less attention. Scott hears stories regularly from parents who paid a small retainer months ago and now cannot get their lawyer to return a phone call or an email. The attorney has moved on to the next new client.
Choosing a divorce attorney primarily based on price. An inexpensive retainer can result in an attorney who takes on too many cases to remain responsive, leaving you without guidance during critical stages of your divorce.
When a single attorney is also the receptionist, paralegal, legal assistant, office manager, and billing department, something has to give. If that solo attorney carries a typical caseload, there are simply not enough hours in the day to handle every case well.
Now imagine that your spouse hires a firm with a full team: a paralegal preparing documents, a legal assistant managing deadlines, an office manager handling billing, and the attorney focused entirely on legal strategy. If both attorneys are equally capable but one has support and the other does not, the attorney with the team will almost always be better prepared.
Scott notes one useful signal: if you call a law office and the attorney personally answers the phone, that may indicate there is no one else there to answer it.
The exception is a solo practitioner who intentionally keeps a very small caseload of four to six cases. That can work, and you have the right to ask how many active cases the attorney currently has.
Not every divorce requires the same type of attorney. If your case is amicable and both spouses are close to a fair agreement, you probably do not need the most aggressive lawyer in town. Bringing in a combative attorney can actually destroy a deal that was nearly done.
On the other hand, if you are dealing with a high-conflict spouse, you probably do not want an attorney who only pushes for settlement and avoids court at all costs. That approach leaves you without leverage.
Scott describes his firm's approach as a middle ground: the goal is always to settle when settlement is realistic, but the preparation for court never stops. He compares it to being a chameleon, adapting to whatever the case requires.
This quality matters more than most parents realize. Lawyers are experts on two things: the law, and how to apply the law to the facts of your case. But the only way a lawyer learns the facts is by listening to you. You are the expert on what has happened in your home, in your marriage, on your phone, and in your life.
Scott hears from prospective clients regularly who describe previous consultations where the attorney talked for the entire hour about themselves and never asked a meaningful question about the client's situation. If a lawyer is not listening during the initial consultation, they are unlikely to start listening once the case is underway.
Family law is not transactional in the way that drafting a business contract or filing an immigration form can be. It involves deeply personal situations, heavy emotions, children's well-being, and decisions that affect families for years. You want an attorney who you can tell is genuinely invested in what they do and in the people they represent.
The contrast is the attorney who treats your case as a billing opportunity. Scott warns that some attorneys charge for unnecessary work, extend the timeline of the case to increase fees, and view clients as revenue rather than people. Family law clients can be victimized twice: first by their spouse, and then again by the wrong lawyer.
Not every case is the right fit for every attorney, and a good lawyer will tell you that. If an attorney is genuinely interested in helping you, you will feel it during your initial conversation. If you do not feel it, that is important information.
Early in his career as a prosecutor, Scott learned a lesson that has guided everything since.
His first mentor at the state attorney's office, a division director named Frank, drilled one principle into every new prosecutor: facts win cases. Period.
Frank was, by Scott's account, one of the best trial lawyers he has ever watched. The way Frank could take dozens of police reports, witness statements, and interviews, find the connections that were not obvious on the surface, and assemble them into a coherent narrative for a jury, was something Scott describes as building a work of art.
That lesson transferred directly when Scott moved to family law.
One of Scott's first family law trials was a relocation case. The opposing side was represented by one of the most prestigious, aggressive law firms in South Florida, a firm that represents professional athletes and celebrities. The opposing attorney was highly respected and well resourced. The client on that side spent well over $150,000 in legal fees.
Scott, by contrast, was new to family law. He was young, relatively unknown, and going up against an attorney with a reputation that most lawyers in the area knew well.
The case involved a parent who wanted to move a toddler to another state, a three-hour flight away. Scott's client, a parent he describes as one of the top five best parents he has ever worked with, was fighting to keep the child in South Florida.
After a three-day trial and months of waiting for the judge's decision, Scott received the ruling. They won. The child would not be relocating.
The reason? They had the facts. The opposing side had the bigger firm, the bigger budget, and the more recognizable name. But facts won the case.
It does not matter how prestigious, aggressive, or expensive the opposing attorney is. If both lawyers are competent enough to present their case, the side with the stronger facts will prevail. That means building your case well is not optional. It is the foundation of everything.
Building a case starts with understanding what you are trying to accomplish. In a divorce with children, that means being clear about your goals. Are you seeking more than equal time-sharing? Are you asking for sole parental responsibility, or shared parental responsibility with ultimate decision-making authority? Do you need protections built into the parenting plan because of alcohol, substance abuse, instability, or high-conflict behavior?
Once you know your goals, you need to identify and gather the facts that support your position.
Scott uses an example of a parent whose spouse has a serious alcohol problem to illustrate the range of evidence that can make or break a case. Telling a judge that your spouse has a drinking problem is not enough. You need documentation.
If you are currently contemplating divorce, even if it is months or a year away, Scott recommends that you start gathering evidence now. The types of evidence that attorneys use in family law cases involving children include text messages where the spouse admitted to a problem, photographs documenting the issue (empty bottles, concerning conditions), a personal log or journal documenting incidents with dates and details, bank or credit card statements showing spending patterns at bars or liquor stores, Ring camera or home security footage, video recordings of concerning behavior (where legally permissible), voicemails, and witness testimony from friends or family members who have observed the behavior firsthand.
For a comprehensive look at how text messages, social media posts, and other digital records are used in Florida divorce proceedings, Scott's firm has published a guide on texts, social media, and digital evidence in Florida divorce.
Florida has specific laws about recording people. Before recording video or audio of your spouse, make sure you understand what is permitted. Your attorney can advise you on what methods of evidence collection are legal in your situation. Evidence gathered improperly may not be admissible and could create problems for your case.
Scott emphasizes that a personal log is one of the most underrated tools available to parents. If you document a pattern of behavior over weeks or months with specific dates, times, and details, that documentation carries far more weight in court than a general statement that something happens "all the time." The difference between saying "my spouse drinks excessively" and presenting a dated spreadsheet showing exactly when, what, and how much is the difference between a claim and a case.
For parents who are still in the early stages of considering divorce, Scott's guide to preparing for divorce in Florida covers additional steps you can take before anything is filed.
General information can help you understand what questions to ask and what issues may matter. But the best approach for your family depends on your children, your spouse, your finances, your history, and the specific facts of your case.
If you would like to talk through your situation, my team and I are here to help.
Schedule a Free Legal Strategy Session Call 561-208-1859Of the three steps, Scott considers this one the most important. He describes it as the top of a ladder: the first step is hiring the right representation, the second is building the right case, and the third, the culmination of everything, is making sure that your parenting plan is smart, specific, and built to protect your children for years to come.
In Florida, a parenting plan is a document, typically seven to ten pages or longer, that establishes how you and your co-parent will share responsibility for your children after the divorce. It covers how many overnights each parent receives, who makes major decisions (education, healthcare, general welfare), how holidays, spring break, and summer break are divided, where and how exchanges will happen, and how the parents will communicate with each other and with the children.
The parenting plan gets incorporated into your final judgment, Florida's version of a divorce decree. Once that happens, the parenting plan is not a suggestion. It is a court order. Violating it can result in sanctions, contempt proceedings, and in rare cases, incarceration.
More importantly, Florida law is structured so that modifying a parenting plan after it has been finalized is extremely difficult. The legal standard strongly favors keeping the plan as it is. The burden falls on the parent requesting the change, and the odds are stacked against them.
Scott regularly has conversations with parents who come to him after their divorce is finalized, hoping to change a parenting plan that their original attorney wrote poorly. In many of those cases, he has to deliver difficult news: the law may not allow the changes they need. This is why getting it right the first time is so important.
For parents who are already dealing with a co-parent who is not following the terms of an existing plan, Scott's firm has published a resource on enforcing time-sharing in Florida.
To illustrate why specificity matters, Scott walks through several real-world examples of how vague or incomplete parenting plans create ongoing problems for families.
One of the most common issues Scott encounters is a parent who, on paper, has 50/50 time-sharing but in practice delegates most of their parenting duties to a new girlfriend, fiance, spouse, or family member. The children end up spending their time with someone other than the parent who fought for it.
A well-written parenting plan can include provisions that address this, requiring the parent to personally care for the children during their designated time or limiting the circumstances under which a third party may serve as a substitute caregiver.
Some parenting plans state that the parents will exchange the children at a "mutually agreeable" location without specifying where. When you are dealing with a high-conflict ex who enjoys creating chaos, "mutually agreeable" becomes a weapon. They refuse every proposed location. They demand that exchanges happen at their home. They create conflict out of every transition.
A good parenting plan specifies exactly where exchanges happen, whether it is a particular Publix parking lot, a police station, or another neutral location, so that there is nothing left to argue about.
If your co-parent thrives on creating conflict during routine transitions, vague language in a parenting plan gives them opportunities to manipulate every exchange. Specific provisions remove those opportunities.
Scott describes parenting plans that say the parents may communicate through "any means available, including telephone, text messaging, email, and in person." When one parent is screaming, cursing, name-calling, and making dozens of calls in a row, unrestricted communication is a nightmare.
Scott has had clients whose ex-spouse called 100 times within a span of a couple of hours. When the parenting plan places no restrictions on communication, there is no enforceable boundary.
The solution is to restrict communication to a monitored co-parenting application such as OurFamilyWizard, TalkingParents, or AppClose. These platforms create a record that can be reviewed by the court, a guardian ad litem, a parenting coordinator, or the attorneys. Nothing can be deleted. The system records when messages were sent, received, and read. And critically, there are no phone calls. The platform itself becomes a built-in layer of accountability.
Restricting communication to a monitored co-parenting app is not about punishing the other parent. It is about creating a structured environment where conflict cannot escalate unchecked. When communication is documented and monitored, most people behave better. Your children benefit from that stability.
Scott has seen both sides of travel disputes. In one scenario, a parent wants to take the children on a cruise with a new partner's family, but the parenting plan requires both parents to consent to international travel. The other parent refuses out of jealousy or spite, and the children miss a trip that would have been perfectly safe.
In another scenario, a parent wants to take the children to a country that presents genuine safety concerns, and the parenting plan does not require consent for international travel, only notice. The other parent has no legal recourse to prevent the trip.
Both situations can be addressed with thoughtful provisions in the parenting plan. The key is anticipating these issues before the plan is finalized and building in the appropriate protections based on your specific circumstances.
A good parenting plan, according to Scott, does three things. First, it reflects the reality of your specific family. It accounts for who your children are, what their needs are, and who you are co-parenting with. Second, it anticipates problems. If you know your ex-spouse has a pattern of creating conflict around exchanges, communication, travel, or decision-making, the plan should address those issues proactively. Third, it is specific. It leaves nothing to "mutual agreement" between the parents, especially when one parent is high-conflict.
Parents who are dealing with abuse, threats, or safety concerns should also be aware of the legal protections available through domestic violence injunctions in Florida.
The decisions you make during your divorce will affect your children long after the case is closed. The attorney you choose, the evidence you gather, and the parenting plan you negotiate are not just legal tasks. They are the framework that will define your family's stability for years.
Scott's three steps are straightforward. Hire someone who specializes, listens, and genuinely cares. Build your case with real facts and documented evidence. And make sure your parenting plan is specific enough to prevent the problems you can already see coming.
None of this requires you to be aggressive, vindictive, or adversarial. What it requires is preparation, clarity, and the willingness to think strategically about your children's future.
Knowledge gives you the ability to make better decisions. A difficult spouse does not mean every interaction has to become a battle. But it does mean that you need a plan, and the plan needs to be built with your specific situation in mind.
If you take the right steps, hire the right representation, build your case the right way, and negotiate a smart parenting plan, you are going to maximize your chances of adequately protecting your children long term. You can stop the chaos, the control, and the manipulation. Not by being aggressive, but by being prepared.
If you are not sure where to start, that is exactly what a strategy session is for. Every family's situation is different, and the right approach depends on facts that only you know. But you do not have to figure it out alone.
This presentation provides general education about the divorce process in Florida, but every family's situation is different. If you would like to discuss your specific circumstances, Scott and the Kalish & Jaggars team are here to help.
Schedule a Free Legal Strategy Session Call 561-208-1859Want to revisit the presentation later? Download the audio version.
The information provided in this presentation and written guide is for general educational purposes and is not legal advice for your specific situation. Viewing, listening to, or reading these materials does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is different, and you should consult with a qualified attorney regarding your individual circumstances. Past results do not guarantee future outcomes.
